Living with a family of Grinches

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Living with a family of Grinches

    I'm twenty-two and still live at home, which isn't ideal, but fine as I don't have the money to move out just yet. The only real problem is that my family just really don't care all that much about Christmas. My mom sees it as one big holiday of stressing, my dad doesn't see the point in buying decorations, we don't see family at the holidays other than the brief dropping off of presents. They wouldn't even have a tree if I didn't complain so much. They're the polar opposite to me: a former grotto elf for House of Fraser who just today created a "Christmas Planner" binder and starts planning in September. I even have to fight to get us to eat Christmas dinner at the table and not off trays on our laps.
    I have these ideals of what I want Christmas to be like, I buy new decorations each year and try to make these dreams happen, but it gets hard putting time, money, and effort into making Christmas magical when the people around you really just don't care. It gets you to the point where you think to yourself "What's the point?". Some Christmases I just feel low because the magic doesn't seem to be there because I'm the only one making an effort.

    Anyone have any tips for keeping the spirit alive even when those around you are grumbling Grinches?

  • #2
    Hi Sapphire. I am so sorry that your family not only does not have an interest in Christmas but does not support your desire to celebrate. It is hard to enjoy an activity when those around you are all wet blankets. I don't have any magical advice. But I do feel you have a right to celebrate and I think you should continue to decorate, put up a tree, and continue to request a family meal together. Maybe when other family members come to drop off gifts you can plan ahead and invite them to stay for a short time to enjoy some snacks and a drink. I hope you can find a way to get those hearts to grow 5 sizes with Christmas spirit.

    Comment


    • #3
      All the more reason to motivate you to move out on your own as soon as you can!
      Nutcracker fetishist.
      Visit my nutcracker blog

      Comment


      • #4
        I'm sure you'd rather spend Christmas with your family. However, perhaps you can travel to some awesome places during the holiday, until you're out on your own and have your own little family. I stayed at the Biltmore in downtown LA one Christmas Eve/Christmas day, before I had my own little family and I LOVED it! The Biltmore is decorated so beautifully during the holiday season AND there's an outdoor ice skating rink right across the street from the hotel. They have night skating. Very festive! Best of luck to you.

        Comment


        • #5
          It's hard. I'm not sure what to tell you other than you've got listening ears who love Christmas here on the forum.
          Mark
          Check out my Christmas reviews.

          Comment


          • #6
            i understand how you feel. My wife is no fan of christmas, she think its a hassle to decorate, etc. I do however have small kids that share my enthusiasm about the holidays. I would suggest you do as I do and just celebrate around her. Start your own traditions and prepare dinner like you want it. Im very much afraid that the holiday spirit seems to be fading in alot of households world wide. its sad because it should be such a joyous time. Just remember this (this site) is where all the holiday nuts live and you are always welcome here.

            Comment


            • #7
              It is really hard to celebrate any holiday season when someone you care about doesn't even want to give it the time of day. I'm no doctor, but have you ever talked to you family on what it was in their past that soured them on Christmas? Maybe something from their past or something recent that has happened to make them not be able to enjoy the holidays.

              I do know that sometimes during an election year that people feelings in general are somewhat lower than normal, just from the fact that they don't know what the outcome is going to be. This feeling will carry on into the new year and it usually takes almost a year for people to come around again to really begin to celebrate.

              Do they like to celebrate Thanksgiving? Do they decorate for the fall season? I guess what I'm trying to say is, "why did they stop liking the holidays?" That would be where I would start if I was in the same situation.

              Hang in there, and good luck! You do have a lot of support here from the fan club.

              Comment


              • #8
                Thank you all, you all have some lovely ideas and I'm glad to know I'm not the only one living with people who aren't as festive. I'm British, so we don't celebrate Thanksgiving here, or Autumn/Fall in general at all really.
                I think my family's biggest problem is the money spent at the festive time of year, and the hassle of it all. They mostly just want a quiet life (my dad especially), there's very little spirit for anything in this house so I do try to raise it at Christmas as best I can. It can be hard not to let the negativity rub off, but now that I have this wonderful forum I feel that when I run low on Christmas spirit, I can always come here and restock. And hopefully my Christmas spirit will rub off on them this year rather than their negativity rubbing off on me. I guess the trick is just to plow on and focus on what I'm doing rather than their reaction to it.

                Comment


                • #9
                  I live alone and I always decorate my house every Christmas. My mother doesn't decorate anymore and the last time she decorated was Christmas 2003. I have several relatives that doesn't decorate anymore. My aunt gave me some of her decorations. I go up to my sister's for Christmas and she always dreaded decorating and she used to say the reason she decorates is because of me, well she cannot use that excuse anymore when now she has a grandson. My parents hated to go up to my sister's for Christmas, because of the cold weather. I found that out after my dad passed away and he could not stand the cold. My parents had to go outside and smoke, because my sister does not allow smoking inside her house. But I believe it is getting to where that people do not want to decorate anymore because of the hassle, the work and the cost of decorations.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    wow i can completely relate...up until 3 years ago everyone hated it and complained about it...maybe you can find a friend to share that special holiday with instead.or one night just do all the decorating yourself and when they see it maybe it will make them happy...i know its hard.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      One thing you might do, Sapphire, is to play to your family's dislikes......by that I mean: they don't like the money, hassle, and noise? Try to plan a quiet holiday. Have some instrumental Christmas music playing softly in the background for a few weeks beforehand. When your dad comes home, from work, sit him down in his favorite chair to relax with his favorite beverage and some Christmas cookies. Offer to do all the decorating. De-emphasize presents...tell your parents all you want for Christmas is to spend the day together as a family. Say you will make the Christmas dinner.

                      When decorating, do it when your parents are home. Casually ask them some things about their Christmases growing up.....what are some of their favorite memories, holiday foods, etc? There might be something you can use to "soften" them up. Tell them some of YOUR favorite holiday moments when you were a small child.

                      Do they like games? If so, try to get them to play 1 or 2 on Christmas Day.

                      Take baby steps....introduce a few things that make them happy and less stressful.....after awhile (and it may take a few years), they will start to associate that happiness with Christmas. Eventually you will establish holiday "traditions" that they will come to enjoy and look forward to.
                      "Christmas isn't just a day...it's a frame of mind!"

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        ow, not weak. hmm.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Well, you can hardly change your parents, but you can change yourself. You have seen they way they destroy Christmas, so you know now what real life Grinches look like. Never be like them. To tell you the truth, I don't blame your parents. I myself lost most of my jolly enthusiasm as the years went by. Life got to me and stole that honest naivety I had when I was a kid. The only thing which brings me back is my young daughter. If it weren't for her I'd probably have not a single decoration at home.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Awe I'm really sorry to hear that. I know how hard that can be. I'm sorry that you have to deal with all that.

                            Comment

                            What's Going On

                            Collapse

                            There are currently 782 users online. 2 members and 780 guests.

                            Most users ever online was 3,474 at 09:13 PM on 11-26-2017.

                            Working...
                            X