"THE" big question... (kids)

[XMASBB70]

Hello everyone!

A couple of nights ago, my son (who's 8) was getting ready to go to bed... He suddenly turned to me and said "Mom....... some kids at school say that Santa's not real, that it's the parents who buy the gifts" GULP! :eek: I knew that day would come but I didn't expect it this year....

I slowly started last year to prepare him for that day, and asked Santa not to come "in person" at our house. I told my son that, since he was getting older, we would leave Santa for the little ones.... But Santa brought a gift during XMAS night...

I've always done this: Santa only brings ONE gift, all the other gifts are from mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, etc... So he knows that the adults buy gifts, but he really thinks that Santa brings him that special one (always wrapped in plain red paper with a gold ribbon/bow). He told me we should write our letter to Santa soon....

How do I handle this? Any ideas? I don't want him to be the joke at school.... but I find that he's too young to stop believing.... After all, I still believe in (the idea of) Santa... ;)

[SantaPaws]

I kind of feel that if they are old enough to ask, then it is time to tell them them truth. Might be time to have more poopie butts to continue the idea of Santa.

[B Merry]

It's always so hard to know what the right thing to say is. It would be wonderful if there was this universal code between parents to tell the same story. I would advise against lying if you've been asked is there really a Santa. My oldest son was devasted when he found out at age 12 and he accused us of lying to him all these years. He had some suggestions for his younger siblings so it wouldn't be such a downer when they finally inquired or stopped believing. He suggested that we make Santa a mystery to us as well and tell them that we really don't know if Santa is real but avoid the "big question."

My 13 year old son never posed the question but just kinda stopped believing but he still holds on to the idea of Santa.

My 11 year old daughter asked us last year if we've ever seen Santa and our answer was no but before she had a chance to ask us if he was real we redirected her and told her to write Santa a note and ask him to leave something behind (besides a present) so she could keep on belieiving. At this age, a lot of kids have given up on Santa. She secretly left him a note and a camera requesting that he take his picture. We printed a close up picture of Santa's face and took a picture of it and left it in the camera. She is in the 6th grade and still believing. Will it back fire when she finally discovers the truth -- I have to hope that she will have enjoyed the mystery and hold on to the memories.

So, what I guess I am trying to say is -- try to redirect him and have him make his on conclusions - play dumb and continuing playing along with the Christmas spirit while you still can.

Good luck!

[Sickie Ickie]

When my brother was old enough, and when I was old enough, that we started questioning- it was time to pass on the tradition. We were each given a Santa doll on that Christmas, and told that santa really did exist- inside each of us. He stood for all the caring things in life to help our fellow man. We are santas, but not everyone chooses to express it.

That approach worked well for my brother.

There's always the exception of course. Me? I've always been the sensitive one and felt that I was betrayed and lied to all my life from my own parents. (Still haven't quite gotten over that. heh)

My wife never told her two sons, they figured it out over the years and like to pretend there's still a Santa in order to get better gifts! LOL

Now I have a 3 yr old with my wife. At first I was against lying to my child about Santa, knowing how it affected me years later, now I'm getting into the fun of it, I guess. I'm trying to look at it now like a harmless practical joke (good clean fun) that everyone goes through and passes it on (revenge? LOL) to their little ones.

It is a lot more fun being Santa than struggling to believe in him as a kid. :D

Did anyone else as a child have this reaction after figuring it out, or am I the only one?

[B Merry]

Sickie Ickie - I love the Santa doll idea -- my big sister ruined 'Santa' for me when I was very young by taking me to the hidden gifts and she did it to be very nasty -- she should have gotten coal that year! LOL. I was devasted and always hold on to the idea of Santa. Your are right that Santa lives in all of us and it's up to us to decide what kind of Santa we will be.

Cheers!

[BlackRose]

Yikes, that sucks. I'm not going to add any advise here since I don't have any kids (although I am taking notes!!!). All I remember about that from when I was little was that I was really upset when I found out. But at the same time you don't want him to be laughed at at school and kids can be so mean. My bnest friend has a 15 year old and she never had that talk with her. She obviously doesn't believe anymore but she still gets a small gift from Santa every year.
Let us know what you decide.

[gingerbreadhouse]

what! santa is not real? My parents got some splaining to do

[Mummy deer-est]

lol gingerbreadhouse....

Unfortunatly, I had to deal with this last year with my (then) 4 year old. The next door neighbors that we had at the time were very religious and felt as though they needed to tell their son (my daughters most frequent play buddy) that Santa was not real and that the reason for the season was Jesus. They also said that Santa is important, though, b/c it helps people be more understanding of what it means to give selflessly.

Anyway, he promptly turned around and told my daughter "Santa it's real." So I sat her down and told her that, yes, we do celebrate Christmas b/c that was the day Jesus was born (we are Christians, just not frequent church go-ers) but that we also choose to belive in Santa. Just like some people may not belive in Jesus, some people may not belive in Santa. But in our family, we choose to belive, and we like it that way, no matter what others say. And great if there are others who act like Santa -- they are spreading joy, just like the real santa (and Jesus, for that matter) would want.

She was okay with that. And promptly turned around and told the boy..."Some people don't belive in Jesus either....but in our family we belive in both" :D I thought that this was hilarious -- he said Santa isn't real, and she told him Jesus wasn't! Oopps! :)

Now, granted, your son is older, but you could try the same princable just to try to give him the gift of that special kind of innocence for one more year....and if it doesn't fly, then I'm with the others in that you can explain that people "belive" in Santa b/c they want to help spread the ideas of joy, giving, etc.

Wow, sorry for taking up the whole page! :o

[MrDEC25]

what! santa is not real? My parents got some splaining to do

Your name must be Lil' Ricky then? Luuuuccccyyy! You've got some splaining to do!!!!

[Sickie Ickie]

This is a great meaty thread. I'm storing mental moted for my 3 yr old when he reaches that age.

[bethene]

Sickie- my daughter has mentioned that she felt foolish at school for believeing for so long- I did the Santa thing so well - so I think she was sensitive to the whole thing- but never has said she felt betrayed by it. I also told my kids that the spirit of Santa lives in us, and the world would be a better place if we all lived that way all year. I also told them about St. Nicholas- who was a real man that Santa is based on. I like the Santa doll idea though- it is a good way to go. But all in all, the wonder of a child on Christmas morning when Santa has come, makes it all worth it. In todays world kids grow up so fast- lets keep the magic of being a kid as long as possible!

[Sickie Ickie]

The tv show "Bones" last night had a good segment in it explaining how we must "deceive in order to keep the fantasy alive for the season." Anyone else see it?

[Frosty]

Tell him the truth he will respect ya for it. He is not going to like it but.....Like you said you dont want him to be the laughing stock at school that could follow him all the way through highschool.

[Mummy deer-est]

I don't think it is that serious that he would be forever mocked...all of the other kids believed at some point too. And if he is already asking questions about it, chances are he is not going to broadcast it if he does decide to keep believing, seeing as how he knows where some of the other kids stand.

I did watch the Bones, SI. I love that show. And I think they had a good point - it is our duty to pass on this magic so that they can delay the rigors and trials of adult life. I am happy that my parents "lied" to me.

But I am talking/thinking for my younger ones, so I may be off....and only xmasbb knows what is best for her child. And either way it goes, I'm sure you can still have a magical Christmas.

[Mistress Muffy]

Boy I don't envy you folks on this thread....I never had to face this dilemma cause I don't have kids.....still it was very interesting to read how you all handle this!!

Muf

[HotchocolateDuo]

I would just smile and say "that's what all bad little kids say"...lol

I can still remember the first year I helped put the presents under the tree. I was around 16...It tore my heart out

....I cryed myself to sleep that night.

[XMASBB70]

Thank you all so much for your answers and memories... I think I will be okay for another year though... Last night, we watched Santa's Parade, and he got so excited when he saw Santa! And when the interviewer asked him if the kids were good this year, Santa replied "Yes", and then my son hit his hand with his fist and said "Allright! Did you hear that mom?" and I could see all the excitement and magic in his eyes....

I know this is probably the last year, but I think I will go with the "Santa lives in our heart" explanation..... so do Jesus and God for that matter....... I have already told him all about St Nicholas, so he "knows" where this whole story comes from....

And I agree with "Bones" (:mad: just realized I missed last night episode :mad:).... and I'll deceive him for yet another year..., but it's worth all the magic! ;)

[hermit4099]

To be truthful there was a St. Nicholas who did give toys & candies to children. When my oldest son ask the question I told him there was a Santa Clause. I even had a book about the history of Christmas traditions. Wish I still had that book. I have a 7 year old growing up to fast. He will ask the same question when he is ready. I'll tell him the same thing about St. Nicholas and the joy he spread around. And his memory we continual his work of the magic of Christmas. This sounds corny, but to a young kid it worked once and I hope a second time too. One other thing about this story you can back it up with a history book of Christmas if you can find it. It puts to shame the people who want to ruin Christmas for little kids, because they nothing to back up their claim. So much BS maybe? Seeing your kid's face lite up about Christmas and Santa, I think it's worth it.:D

[xmas_wilbret]

You know, the Internet is going to make this topic REALLY hard for us. Kids can type in the question way too early.

I plan on sticking with the concept of Santa living in each of us, and explaining that it's a tradition passed down generation to generation when kids reach a certain age. Or something.

If he turns out to be rotten, I'm going to tell him that he killed Santa. (j/k I hope)

[Blinky]

Yep I saw that show Sickie.lol I Love that show..
Smell any Santa butt lately..;)

[Mummy deer-est]

lol Blinky...that was funny - and I loved the kiss!

[Sickie Ickie]

I'll let ya do it next time I sit down on bird spit, Blinks. :p

[meestercranky]

my kids just never really asked us. At some point they just seemed to know and there was no questions or upset feelings, and they were both about seven which is when I figured it out for myself.

Once I realized it wasn't fooling them anymore, I sat down and read them the famous "Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus" letter to let them know why adults do this.
http://www.newseum.org/yesvirginia/

There is still a tradition among us of there being a gift or two from Santa, according to the tags.

[Sickie Ickie]

What a great letter! I've heard references to it, but never read it...'til now. Thanks for the link!

I actually added that to the link section of SantasProjects.com

[Mummy deer-est]

That letter is so sweet, meestercranky! Imagine, a life without Santas or Virginia's! Impossible!

Thanks...:)

[bethene]

I read the letter years ago, but forgot how great it was, reading it again. What a perfect way to live life, not just at Christmas, with child like wonder and attitudes!

[Nephew Fred]

I remember quite vividly when the nieghbor girl told me who Santa was.I did not want to believe it and would hope I would somehow forget. I guess I had figured it out all along ,because it really didnt stop me from still pretending to believe.(I have younger siblings).I remember my mother once talking to a friend about the whole "Santa" thing.
I heard her say that she knew I knew who "Santa" really was ,but would still have gone on believing if I could. Little did she know ,I never stopped.......